authenticity
Outfit Details
1 // Denim Waist Coat - c/o 6ks
2 // Oatmeal Casual Maternity Top - Target
3 // Scarf - Popsugar
4 // Black Maternity Leggings - Target
So... let's just be real. It's been a hard week over here. A lot of things have happened for Drew and I that make it seem like life is going against us right now. Don't get be wrong - there is also a lot to be thankful for too. God has always provided for us. It's just been emotional and difficult to hang onto that promise. Especially knowing that that doesn't mean we won't loose things we love, deal with difficult relationships, or really struggle financially. It just means He will provide what He knows we need. Which should be comforting to me since He is the one who ultimately knows everything, right? But no. I struggle. I don't want to fear or be full of anxiety, but I am fighting it constantly. And I'm exhausted because I feel like we're fighting to stay above water and I'm so tired. But today I realized that the Lord gives us peace when we trust Him. And that, in order to trust Him, I have to change my ultimate goal from financial security and peace in this world to growth in Him. And when I change my focus to that, then I can grab onto that peace because this world's problems don't matter anymore. Of course, we still need to try and deal with them, but they are no longer the prize. The prize is Jesus.
I know that seems like a rant, and maybe you didn't even care to hear all of that, but it got me thinking about authenticity. Blogging is scary sometimes. Opening up to a bunch of people you don't know and spilling your guts? ...yeah... not everyone's cup of tea. But, one of the reasons I started blogging was to connect with other women and have the opportunity to encourage each other. To open up and be truly authentic... real... genuine. And, although I blog about a lot of other things besides what's on my heart, I hope you all know that.
It's easy to look at other bloggers and people you see only online and think to yourself that they "have it all together" - when that's just not true. And that's definitely not true of me.
I want you to know that we are more similar than you think.
I want you to know the little things like our house is a wreck right now and I haven't had the chance to do a good, deep-clean since moving in two months ago.
I want you to know that we have problems. And they usually happen in multiples. Like our washer and dryer broke down at the same time that a few other things piled up. And yes, our washer being broken meant I totally wore the same thing for more than a week until we finally took our clothes to the laundromat down the street two nights ago. That's why there were no outfit photos last week...
I want you to know that I've had a lot of heartache, pain, and disappointment in my life. And those things make up a portion of who I am. But most of those moments involve people I love and, because I want to protect them, I don't share those things on here.
I want you to know that owning your own business, while extremely satisfying and one of the best decisions of my life, can be very stressful. Financially... emotionally... it can wear you out and test your strength in ways you didn't know possible. And you learn every day to trust God or else spend your life worrying about what might or might not happen next.
I want you to know that, like many other pregnant women, I've had some extremely ridiculous hormonal meltdowns. Maybe even about french fries... :)
I want you to know that my car is 12 years old, sounds like it's going to die at any moment, and is probably only worth a few hundred dollars.
I want you to know that marriage is hard work. And my husband and I love each other passionately, but that doesn't mean we don't disagree or have arguments. Especially when I have a problem leaving hair in the shower... :)
I know that I tend to post a lot of pretty pictures and projects and stuff that makes it seem like life is all rainbows and gumdrops over here. But, I'm not meaning to send that message. I hope you know that blogging about those things - the good and pretty moments in life - is wonderful but it's an edited version of my life. It's a small snippet of my world, not the day to day reality. So please don't hate on your own life when you're reading this blog or other blogs - because that would be sad. This world is full of problems for everyone. But, thankfully, this world is not meant to be the prize. :) The prize is Jesus.