uniquely you: asking for help
Hello! Thank you all for your support and encouragement through my Uniquely You post series. Occasionally, I will be allowing other bloggers to contribute to this series with their personal stories, words of encouragement, and words of advice on the topic of what makes each of us unique and beautiful. Today I am excited to feature my first contributor, Stephanie! If you are interested in contributing to this series - shoot me an email at jenny@maiedae.com - I'd love to hear from you.
I used to think I was doing okay. Sure, I had my issues. Sometimes I cried at night, on the bus, in the washroom, but I was getting by, usually with a smile on my face. Then, I started seeing Jill. Jill listened. Jill cared. Jill believed my story without hesitation. Jill was my counselor at the Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton. I thought I was doing fine only because I didn’t know what it felt like to care about myself, to love myself. Jill showed me how.
Before I asked for help, I didn’t think I was important enough. “Suck it up and be grateful for what you have,” was my daily mantra. The irony is, I had this defining belief that every person, every soul deserved help no matter their mistakes. This belief just didn’t apply to me. I put serial killers ahead of my own needs. Nutty, right?
Once I started voicing my story, I realized I didn’t have to mask my pain with a grin. I started to apply my compassion to myself. With this growing self-love my life started to change. With each new choice I made, another opportunity arose. I developed healthy habits, like exercising and eating well, started to nurture my creativity, spoke up in social situations, and started making decisions based on my own needs rather than always being a support for everyone else, never myself. When I started putting myself first, though it felt selfish at first, I was more capable of being a strong and patient support for my family and friends.
It’s been three years since my sessions with Jill and I’m always shocked at how much I continue to grow. With each phase I overcome new challenges. It’s still a struggle to practice self-compassion, but I always remember Jill. It’s not any particular tool I remember, but just that she cared. Here’s how to ask for help:
Thank you, Stephanie! You can find more from Stephanie here: Blog // Facebook // Instagram // Twitter
I used to think I was doing okay. Sure, I had my issues. Sometimes I cried at night, on the bus, in the washroom, but I was getting by, usually with a smile on my face. Then, I started seeing Jill. Jill listened. Jill cared. Jill believed my story without hesitation. Jill was my counselor at the Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton. I thought I was doing fine only because I didn’t know what it felt like to care about myself, to love myself. Jill showed me how.Before I asked for help, I didn’t think I was important enough. “Suck it up and be grateful for what you have,” was my daily mantra. The irony is, I had this defining belief that every person, every soul deserved help no matter their mistakes. This belief just didn’t apply to me. I put serial killers ahead of my own needs. Nutty, right?
Once I started voicing my story, I realized I didn’t have to mask my pain with a grin. I started to apply my compassion to myself. With this growing self-love my life started to change. With each new choice I made, another opportunity arose. I developed healthy habits, like exercising and eating well, started to nurture my creativity, spoke up in social situations, and started making decisions based on my own needs rather than always being a support for everyone else, never myself. When I started putting myself first, though it felt selfish at first, I was more capable of being a strong and patient support for my family and friends.
It’s been three years since my sessions with Jill and I’m always shocked at how much I continue to grow. With each phase I overcome new challenges. It’s still a struggle to practice self-compassion, but I always remember Jill. It’s not any particular tool I remember, but just that she cared. Here’s how to ask for help:
1. KNOW YOU'RE WORTH IT
One of my biggest challenges when I first sought support was thinking someone else was more deserving of the help I was receiving. Surely there were bigger problems in the world than what I was facing. But, what it comes down to is you (and I) deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve help.2. TREAT YOURSELF AS A FRIEND
Approaching a friend for help can be scary. We’re afraid to admit our struggles, afraid of what others might say, afraid to be found out. Just keep in mind this question. What would you do if one of your friends asked for your help? This does wonders for remembering that our true friends care deeply and will do their best to support us.3. GO SLOW
You don’t have to face all your struggles in one sitting. Take your time, nurture yourself, be kind. We don’t always see immediate results of our efforts, but the small steps towards self-love become giant strides in the long run.Thank you, Stephanie! You can find more from Stephanie here: Blog // Facebook // Instagram // Twitter