uniquely you: body image
This past week has been so refreshing! And, although it was my first official week being full-time with Maiedae, I really consider today to begin my first real week since we were traveling most of last week. Savannah and I developed a pretty legit schedule for ourselves that I'm super excited about testing out this week and revising in the weeks to come. I love how Savannah and I work together - how we inspire one another and are even more productive when we are around each other because of that. I know I keep saying this, but it's still unbelievable to me that I am full-time now. And I'm not sure if it will ever sink in. So thank you for listening to me :)
In the past week or so, I've had the opportunity to talk with several groups of ladies along the topics of self confidence, body image, and finding yourself after college. And it's got me thinking a lot about my own journey in these areas.
Self confidence is something that's hard to talk about among women. Mainly because, in my opinion, most people have a negative connotation when you say "body image" - they remember talks with their parents that might not have gone so well growing up, trying to fit in with the "cool girls" at school, or even just feeling bad about the fact that they aren't perfectly comfortable in their own skin. Because our culture is all about "fitting in" and there is a lot of pressure to look or dress a certain way, many women have an internal battle going on with self confidence and just don't want to admit it.
Well, I'll admit it. I struggled all growing up with feeling comfortable in my own skin. I've got pretty straight hair, pale freckly skin, and a flat butt. In high school, I wanted to be like all the other girls who had curly hair, tan olive colored skin, and nice curves. I felt so plain and ordinary. I had no idea what made me unique or how to embrace it and I felt so much pressure to be like everyone else I didn't really care about my unique qualities. And let's just be real - high school is so shallow sometimes that it's really difficult to see the sky above the fog of vanity that hovers there.
But, even in and after college, I realized that learning how to be self confident in my own unique-ness was something I was going to have to train my mind how to do. We are so easily defined in this world by what we look like or what we can offer. Finding our unique identity and being excited about it is like swimming upstream - it's really hard and exhausting. But, like all good things, it's worth the hard work. So many times I would start to really make progress - I would stop looking in the mirror so much or I would stop being so critical of my appearance - and then I would take five steps backward. I would start getting on the scales all the time or entertain thoughts of changing some part of me. Slowly, but surely, I began focusing more on the parts of myself that I loved - my eyes, my long fingers, the copper strands in my hair. And, although I eventually was able to embrace the parts of my outer self that I didn't care for so much and find peace with them, after a while I realized that I wasn't so focused on appearance at all - that I had started looking inward for my confidence. I realized the things I love most about myself aren't on the outside at all - they're on the inside. I know, I know... this sounds super uber cheesy. But I'm serious. The less I put so much pressure on my outer appearance and began to accept and embrace it, the more I enjoyed who God has created me to be - my personality, my quirks, my interests, my gifts and talents, and my passions.
My journey of finding self confidence and developing a healthy body image is still ongoing, however, I've made a lot of progress so far. A few things that I've taken away:
One of my friends recently shared this video which was very inspirational to me while thinking through this issue of body image and self confidence and I really wanted to share with you.
It's so interestingly obvious in this video how critical and harsh we are of ourselves. We exaggerate our bad qualities and, by doing so, we stifle our true beauty deep down inside of us. I hope that if you struggle with seeing your unique beauty as a woman, you can take some steps toward realizing just how beautiful you actually are - which might not be how you think of yourself now. But it's how others see you and, most importantly, it's how God sees you.
In the past week or so, I've had the opportunity to talk with several groups of ladies along the topics of self confidence, body image, and finding yourself after college. And it's got me thinking a lot about my own journey in these areas.
Self confidence is something that's hard to talk about among women. Mainly because, in my opinion, most people have a negative connotation when you say "body image" - they remember talks with their parents that might not have gone so well growing up, trying to fit in with the "cool girls" at school, or even just feeling bad about the fact that they aren't perfectly comfortable in their own skin. Because our culture is all about "fitting in" and there is a lot of pressure to look or dress a certain way, many women have an internal battle going on with self confidence and just don't want to admit it.
Well, I'll admit it. I struggled all growing up with feeling comfortable in my own skin. I've got pretty straight hair, pale freckly skin, and a flat butt. In high school, I wanted to be like all the other girls who had curly hair, tan olive colored skin, and nice curves. I felt so plain and ordinary. I had no idea what made me unique or how to embrace it and I felt so much pressure to be like everyone else I didn't really care about my unique qualities. And let's just be real - high school is so shallow sometimes that it's really difficult to see the sky above the fog of vanity that hovers there.
But, even in and after college, I realized that learning how to be self confident in my own unique-ness was something I was going to have to train my mind how to do. We are so easily defined in this world by what we look like or what we can offer. Finding our unique identity and being excited about it is like swimming upstream - it's really hard and exhausting. But, like all good things, it's worth the hard work. So many times I would start to really make progress - I would stop looking in the mirror so much or I would stop being so critical of my appearance - and then I would take five steps backward. I would start getting on the scales all the time or entertain thoughts of changing some part of me. Slowly, but surely, I began focusing more on the parts of myself that I loved - my eyes, my long fingers, the copper strands in my hair. And, although I eventually was able to embrace the parts of my outer self that I didn't care for so much and find peace with them, after a while I realized that I wasn't so focused on appearance at all - that I had started looking inward for my confidence. I realized the things I love most about myself aren't on the outside at all - they're on the inside. I know, I know... this sounds super uber cheesy. But I'm serious. The less I put so much pressure on my outer appearance and began to accept and embrace it, the more I enjoyed who God has created me to be - my personality, my quirks, my interests, my gifts and talents, and my passions.
My journey of finding self confidence and developing a healthy body image is still ongoing, however, I've made a lot of progress so far. A few things that I've taken away:
- Don't be so hard on yourself - - we tend to expect perfection and therefore end up feeling like constant failures.
- Be yourself - - although the world tends to push us to be like everyone else, you were not created for that. You are unique and it's your uniqueness that makes you beautiful.
- Take care of your body, but don't be consumed by it - - our bodies are supposed to be exercised, fed good healthy food, and taken care of. But that doesn't mean we're supposed to weigh 95 pounds and have 0% body fat. Every woman has a different body shape - find the healthiest version of you and strive for that.
- Encourage other women, but let's not enable each other - - it's great to affirm another woman in her unique qualities, but it's not so great to affirm each other in our bad habits or in trash talking the things we don't like about ourselves. Don't let your friends hate on themselves - encourage them to seek out the things they love in who they are instead of seeking out affirmation for the things they don't like.
One of my friends recently shared this video which was very inspirational to me while thinking through this issue of body image and self confidence and I really wanted to share with you.
It's so interestingly obvious in this video how critical and harsh we are of ourselves. We exaggerate our bad qualities and, by doing so, we stifle our true beauty deep down inside of us. I hope that if you struggle with seeing your unique beauty as a woman, you can take some steps toward realizing just how beautiful you actually are - which might not be how you think of yourself now. But it's how others see you and, most importantly, it's how God sees you.