uniquely you: loving yourself
I told you a little bit before about how I used to really struggle with loving on myself. Because I had such a poor self image, it was really hard for me to believe that I deserved to take time to care for my mental, physical, and emotional well being. The truth is, we live in a world where being busy is praised, being "too involved" doesn't exist, being angry is a strength, and being taken advantage of is a commonality. This is not the way we were made to live and it is important to realize that you are worth taking care of. Did you get that? You have worth as a person and are worth taking care of. It's time to start believing that and living it out.
I want to share with you a few practical ways that I am currently trying to love myself. I'm not assuming that I know everything (definitely not), I just hope that you can gain some inspiration into ways that you can treat yourself better.
1. Getting Ready in the Morning - - - - Having fun putting on my makeup and taking the time to pick out a cute outfit every morning helps me remember to have confidence in who I am. Even days that I am not going anywhere, I try to wake up and have my morning routine so that I feel my best.
2. Writing a Thankful List - - - - My mom taught me this one. Take the time once a day to write down everything you are thankful for. Although it seems unrelated to self-care, doing this can really help boost your overall positivity. And if you can make your thoughts more positive in general, it can gradually mold and affect the thoughts about yourself.
3. Taking Time to Relax - - - - I am still working on this one, but taking the time to relax is something I think is very important. Whether that's taking a hot bath, reading a good book, or going to a coffee shop and writing out a list of dreams. Whatever makes your mind at ease will reduce your stress and improve your perspective.
4. Treating Yourself - - - - And I don't mean just with food. This could be a girl's night out, buying some new makeup, spending some time alone, or painting your nails. Whatever it is, be intentional about treating yourself every now and then.
5. Treating Your Body - - - - It is important to be healthy and exercise. I have made excuses since college about every reason why I am not able to work out - I'm not a morning person, I have an injury, I don't have time, I want to start fresh next month, I don't know how, etc. The truth that I've realized is this: You will always make time for your priorities or for what you love. I definitely don't love exercising (at least not yet!), so I have to make it a priority in my life or else I will never do it.
6. Surrounding Yourself - - - - I heard once that you are the average of the people you surround yourself with. Take a good look at who is in your life right now. Are they good influences? Are they challenging you to be a better person? Are they supportive and loving? I try to be intentional about putting people in my "inner circle" who I look up to and admire and who challenge me. But it's important to have a balance of people who you also want to pour into and develop. Both being poured into and pouring into others are ways that you love yourself. Being poured into by people who you admire and who love you builds up your confidence and gives you inspiration. Pouring into and developing others gives you perspective and purpose.
7. Speaking Affirmation - - - - What kind of words do you speak about yourself? What kind of thoughts fill your head when thinking about who you are? Next time you find yourself filled with negative self-talk, stop and name 3 things you love about who you are. It is one thing to motivate yourself towards a goal. It's another thing entirely to use words to bully yourself. I used to take out my fears and disappointments in my head where no one else could see them. And it was okay to me because I wasn't hurting anyone else. But I was. I was hurting every single person who cared for me. I was pushing them away. Declaring myself unlovable. And none of that is true. Fears and disappointments are normal. When I brought my fear out into the open, it was destroyed because fear thrives in the dark. And when I spoke my disappointments to the people who had disappointed me, I was healed because I was able to let go instead of reliving them in my head.
8. Setting Goals - - - - Obviously there are things in my life and habits that I want to change. Instead of hating myself for not "being a certain way", I try to set obtainable goals for myself to change that bad habit or way of living. It can be really discouraging if you set a goal and are constantly failing to achieve it, so a few tips that I have for setting goals are: 1) Write out your end goal and, working backwards, write out individual steps to get to that goal. 2) Make sure your first steps are easy enough that you will do them - It is rare to go "cold turkey" and actually succeed. Making small changes is much easier than making big ones. 3) Find accountability. Find someone who you can be accountable to and who will keep you motivated. 4) Remind yourself of your goal. Write it on your mirror. Put a visual picture somewhere that reminds you of the bad habit or that motivates you towards the good one. It is very difficult to achieve a goal that you are not convicted of or that you don't believe in. 5) Celebrate your progress. A gradual rewards system always works best for me. :)
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I hope this has been encouraging for you to love yourself. You are unique and beautiful. Have fun taking care of yourself this week. To end, I want to challenge you.
CHALLENGE: think about the ways that you talk and think about yourself. Be honest about how you treat yourself. Do you tend to struggle with negative self-image? Are you surrounded by people who run you down? Do you wear yourself out with a busy schedule? Afterwards, try a new way of loving on yourself this week and if you want to, tell me about it! I would love to hear about your journey.
I want to share with you a few practical ways that I am currently trying to love myself. I'm not assuming that I know everything (definitely not), I just hope that you can gain some inspiration into ways that you can treat yourself better.
1. Getting Ready in the Morning - - - - Having fun putting on my makeup and taking the time to pick out a cute outfit every morning helps me remember to have confidence in who I am. Even days that I am not going anywhere, I try to wake up and have my morning routine so that I feel my best.
2. Writing a Thankful List - - - - My mom taught me this one. Take the time once a day to write down everything you are thankful for. Although it seems unrelated to self-care, doing this can really help boost your overall positivity. And if you can make your thoughts more positive in general, it can gradually mold and affect the thoughts about yourself.
3. Taking Time to Relax - - - - I am still working on this one, but taking the time to relax is something I think is very important. Whether that's taking a hot bath, reading a good book, or going to a coffee shop and writing out a list of dreams. Whatever makes your mind at ease will reduce your stress and improve your perspective.
4. Treating Yourself - - - - And I don't mean just with food. This could be a girl's night out, buying some new makeup, spending some time alone, or painting your nails. Whatever it is, be intentional about treating yourself every now and then.
5. Treating Your Body - - - - It is important to be healthy and exercise. I have made excuses since college about every reason why I am not able to work out - I'm not a morning person, I have an injury, I don't have time, I want to start fresh next month, I don't know how, etc. The truth that I've realized is this: You will always make time for your priorities or for what you love. I definitely don't love exercising (at least not yet!), so I have to make it a priority in my life or else I will never do it.
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6. Surrounding Yourself - - - - I heard once that you are the average of the people you surround yourself with. Take a good look at who is in your life right now. Are they good influences? Are they challenging you to be a better person? Are they supportive and loving? I try to be intentional about putting people in my "inner circle" who I look up to and admire and who challenge me. But it's important to have a balance of people who you also want to pour into and develop. Both being poured into and pouring into others are ways that you love yourself. Being poured into by people who you admire and who love you builds up your confidence and gives you inspiration. Pouring into and developing others gives you perspective and purpose.
7. Speaking Affirmation - - - - What kind of words do you speak about yourself? What kind of thoughts fill your head when thinking about who you are? Next time you find yourself filled with negative self-talk, stop and name 3 things you love about who you are. It is one thing to motivate yourself towards a goal. It's another thing entirely to use words to bully yourself. I used to take out my fears and disappointments in my head where no one else could see them. And it was okay to me because I wasn't hurting anyone else. But I was. I was hurting every single person who cared for me. I was pushing them away. Declaring myself unlovable. And none of that is true. Fears and disappointments are normal. When I brought my fear out into the open, it was destroyed because fear thrives in the dark. And when I spoke my disappointments to the people who had disappointed me, I was healed because I was able to let go instead of reliving them in my head.
8. Setting Goals - - - - Obviously there are things in my life and habits that I want to change. Instead of hating myself for not "being a certain way", I try to set obtainable goals for myself to change that bad habit or way of living. It can be really discouraging if you set a goal and are constantly failing to achieve it, so a few tips that I have for setting goals are: 1) Write out your end goal and, working backwards, write out individual steps to get to that goal. 2) Make sure your first steps are easy enough that you will do them - It is rare to go "cold turkey" and actually succeed. Making small changes is much easier than making big ones. 3) Find accountability. Find someone who you can be accountable to and who will keep you motivated. 4) Remind yourself of your goal. Write it on your mirror. Put a visual picture somewhere that reminds you of the bad habit or that motivates you towards the good one. It is very difficult to achieve a goal that you are not convicted of or that you don't believe in. 5) Celebrate your progress. A gradual rewards system always works best for me. :)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I hope this has been encouraging for you to love yourself. You are unique and beautiful. Have fun taking care of yourself this week. To end, I want to challenge you.
CHALLENGE: think about the ways that you talk and think about yourself. Be honest about how you treat yourself. Do you tend to struggle with negative self-image? Are you surrounded by people who run you down? Do you wear yourself out with a busy schedule? Afterwards, try a new way of loving on yourself this week and if you want to, tell me about it! I would love to hear about your journey.